#My posture right now
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omg where'd you get your top it looks like it would fall apart after one cycle in the wash
#i need you to imagine my very specific vision for yakumo piggybacking on eiden ok:#eiden is such a playful lil scamp so idk one day he wants to test his strength by carrying yakumo#yakumo's always carrying passed-out-eiden after marathon sex sessions so. how heavy can a vertical noodle possibly be#but yakumo's scared he's too heavy or that he'll be too awkwardly shaped (whatever that means) for eiden to carry#so while eiden is crouched down in front of yakumo beckoning him to climb aboard#yakumo stiffly positions himself . but . his feet barely leave the ground#and their bodies aren't touching much.. as in#yaku's knees are gripping at eiden's midsection instead of scooching up close#because he doesn't want his crotch right up against eiden's back LOL#and he's very lightly touching eiden's shoulders with his hands#but since yakumo's body is so distant/unevenly perched.. it actually makes it tougher for eiden to carry him#so eiden has to coax yakumo into getting MUCH CLOSER against his body#'come on . right up against my back. it'll make it easier!!'#'no need to be shy 😏😙'#'that's right! now put your arms around my neck. there we go!!'#after yakumo loosens up and loses rock posture... he indeed becomes easy to carry#so eiden gets to strut around proudly with a yakumo on his back for a bit#this whole thing was inspired by me wanting to see oli bridal carry yakumo LOL#it would be sooooooo easy . oli is sooo strong and yakumo sooo flimsy. just scoop him up. kiss his forehead#tbh he could lift yakumo one handed but the bridal carry is more comfortable and oli is Considerate#then when i had oli AND eiden carrying yaku in my head.. i started imagining the others#something about.... yakumo being tossed around by bottoms#fills me with unprecedented amounts of delight#GARU!! SPIKE HIM ONTO THE GROUND LIKE THE ALMONDBALL#yakuoli#yakuei#yakumond#yakugaru#yakukaru
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“Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Dark Meta Knight, bust shot, covered in bloody spatters that drip down his armor, half-draped in a deep red shadow that bleeds in lines down the background. He glares at the viewer through the tilted visor of his mask, a single, manic-wide eye glowing gold in the shadows, an unusual orange slit pupil slashed through its center. He holds one hand up before him, gloveless, bloodstained, curled into claws as if he’s just ripped it out of something. END ID.)
Started 11/14/24, finished 11/16/24.
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#dark meta knight#listen#I know we all like to knock him down a peg and make him this posturing little dork with a foul mouth and secret heart of gold#(and I love that for him of course)#but right now I have... a *lot*... of visceral anger and despair living inside my chest#and *very* few ways to express it constructively#so we’re just gonna... let Dark hold that for me for a while okay?#go be an edgelord to your heart’s content little guy - it’s on the house#we'll go back to sillies later (when things hurt a little less)#blood tw#eye contact tw#vent art#<- (technically. just in case it’s not y’all’s thing)#veinsfullofstars
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I just saw a few "beginner artist" animations and posts that had gained some traction and their comment sections actually made me pretty seethingly upset.
"Experienced" artists really just jump on "beginner" artists to tell them all the 2 to 5 to 50 things that they can do better. All under the guise of "I'm just tryna help" and coated with "you have potential!". Well I am also a fellow artist and that is so haughty and discouraging to me. Some artists need to get off their hyper realistic objectively superior anatomically correct high horses and give the goofy newbie ones some fucking room to breathe. Leave beginner artists alone, a tip or two is fine but they do not need 20 people correcting all their "mistakes" and giving tips and criticism where it was never asked for. I genuinely feel so bad for these beginning artists who put in effort to create something, and that's the foremost beauty of art, only to get jumped like prey by all these other artists who fail to appreciate the very core of what they claim to teach. If you do that, THEY DON'T NEED YOU to grow as artists, and that's assuming you even wanted to help and not just having a superiority complex
#if people ask for criticism thats a different story. Im not here to tell you you cant say what you want. free speech and whatever#its the internet#but holy SHIT#if I had gotten this amount of “experienced” artists seeing my newbie artwork#ough I shudder at the thought. Horrible#blabber#art#I will tell you right now I criticize etc some art in private. with friends. dont do that in the artist's face are you kidding me#If a baby takes its first steps are you going to give it a 5 minute pep talk on its posture correction and how to run#like no oh my god the baby will be fine. People new to their craft will be fine#are you gonna do that because it gives you an ego boost because youre better at walking than a baby. no youre not!!!
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Thought my back hurt because my posture was garbage from drawing hunched up in bed. Turns out it was SCOLIOSIS LMFAOO
How tf did I go 21 years without knowing my spine and pelvis were twisted and one of my legs was shorter than the other 💀💀 WACK
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#seldomspeaks#The chiropractor asked me if I had it when I tagged along with my mom for shits and giggles#((Posture was VISIBLY awful when standing))#she booked me an appt and one xray later. welp 💀😂😂 She was right#Now I feel weird because YOU'RE TELLING ME MY BONES ARE WRONG??? EW EW EW EW
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(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked
#I do really wish i could just snap my fingers and pilot a cisman's body around#Rather than go through the crucible of visibly transitioning. it seems like a waste to do it when the times are so awful.#I honestly still doubt myself so much but#I can only do so many years of Why are you perceiving me as a woman#Before the shit starts getting real#People really just dont take you fucking seriously. Like even at this point where im at now i still dont know if im quote unquote valid#Because maybe its just a feminist issue and the misogyny is rampant#But an emotional sensitive defensive anxious reactive woman is what i am seen as. Somehow.#When I have gone lengths to ensure that even those close to me do not see a hint of my unchained emotional reality. Just really beats it in#I am entirely logical when I describe my experiences to my family. Clinical and detatched and intentional. And they think i am to be coddle#All the fucking time. Exhausting. I don't want that. I want to come to mutual understanding. Not to beg for emotional attention.#Thats the only thing that ever visibly cracks me. Being horribly misunderstood and taken out of context. Logical self defense being denied.#And being full of estrogen just reinforces that shit. Im a frustration crier. If I had testosterone maybe it wouldnt prove people right.#When you bite back as a woman you are just a bitch.#My fear is that I will be an emotional transgender man that wants to be coddled. I am afraid it will be worse to be that.#I really do just want to be able to live and work and be taken seriously when I say what I mean and what my mind is like.#I want a chance at life. I feel like I'm seen as a hapless girl. Damaged and begging to be freed of all responsibility#No bitch I want to move out and actively build a life for myself and RAISE MYSELF! after years of being misunderstood and alone#And also i want to do homosexual war reenactments with another man or something i dont know i just wish it could be me#Maybe ill just donate blood and faint again#Anyway. Joker. Society. I am the joker#Who wanna reply and tell me if im a valid transman or not. I get chest dysphoria when i have proper posture.#I get ass and hip dysphoria.#Low key having a bangin body as a woman though confuses me still bc maybe i just like being hot more than i gaf about transitioning#It reeeeeally helps that my face has an impeccable T zone. Its kind of masc as hell.
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i cannot overstate how much postural restoration therapy has changed my life. i can actually snowboard now. like for real, my center of gravity actually shifted back to where it is supposed to be and i can comfortably stand balanced over the board in a way i was completely incapable of last year when my pelvis was all twisted and fucked up. i can't believe how drastic the change is. i can't believe i was walking with a limp for years and i didn't even know it until i stopped limping. and above all, i can't believe how simple the therapy was. i'm like. wow. what the hell.
#the hawk speaks#PRI#postural restoration#i bet i could do taekwondo properly now too#my master used to tell me ALL THE TIME that my chest was too far forward#which is exactly the same feedback my snowboarding instructor kept giving me#and just like when my master would yank the back of my uniform to put me in the right place#when i tried to stand the way my instructor told me to#i would feel extremely off balance and it would be exhausting on my posture muscles and sometimes would just make me tip over#so i think my issues with tkd were all actually issues with my pelvic twist#it makes me want to go back and start taking classes again but i just do not have the time/money for that#not with running and drawing and voice lessons etc plus working full time lmao#anyway
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POTS flare ups are kinda funny why am I having to speed run like. Making toast
#I have a good right now so my usually mild POTS is not being very mild#cold*#I can’t be upright for more than like. five minutes max#and I’m home alone this week and have midterms so I can’t just not do things#pots syndrome#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#why god why#chronic illness
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i hate when it’s cold and my bones start aching extra 0-0
#makes me mad#it feels like i can snap off my fingers right now and i don’t like it#probably heds#heds#pots#pots syndrome#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#hypermobile ehlers danlos#hypermobile eds#cold#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic pain
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there is rot in my brain and i don't know if it'll ever go away
#at any and all times i feel so aware of everything that's going wrong and so unequipped to do anything abt it#but everything i do feels wrong. like some sad attempt at taking a step down the right path after years spent walking the wrong one#nothing is ever going 2 make things feel right. nothing i have ever done has helped. everything is so hopeless.#ive been sitting at my desk doing nothing with awful posture for an hour now. i need to shower. i need to tidy my room.#i need a job. i need to do something that let's me live just a little. i need to see the people i love.#i need to walk out into the rain and vanish and have nobody ever question what happened to me or if there ever even was a me.
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The Thai Communal Wardrobe item #129
Only Friends ep 1:
My Stand In ep 7:
#only friends the series#ofts#my stand in#the thai communal wardrobe#the first of only two from my stand in on the communal wardrobe#which is strange because I thought there had been more#but not according to my spreadsheet 🤷🏽♀️#these two eps aired just over ten months apart#also...I didn't realise mark's posture was SO BAD until now#because my focus has been on the right sides of the pics 🤭
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[6]
UM EXCUSE ME?!
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UNPROMPTED?!?
#Right in front of my salad?!#Well I guess we know what happened to Cotton Eye Joe#DO THEY JUST SUDDENLY EXPIRE?#INTERNAL TIMER WENT OFF OOPS TIME TO DISINTEGRATE#What a mood#Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#Tsubasa#Vol 186#Kurogane#LIVING for his unchanged posture#Fai#Lava Lamp Guy#Mokona#Do they know it happens to them#Or does the time loop erase their memories#Does the child no longer think he has a mother in the marketplace on the next time loop?#Does he just live alone now?#Also this is very like the bad version of clow reed#Who’s magic people also destablise and turn into cards#Whereas Evil Wolverine’s magic people just#Become swamp liquid and disappear#He clearly didn’t attend clow card class#You Must Store Your Magic People In The Correct Tupperware!
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i have a soft spot for kitsch. i love compulsively collecting those stupid sticker sheets with bijons and bunnies and bears in all kinds of expertly designed inoffensive situations. i love heart and star and flower hair clips. i'm staring at a phone strap with beads that are shaped like fried eggs and you bet your ass they've got little smiley faces on them. i got it without even knowing what i'd attach it to
so anyways, i think of kitsch as kind of like, an aesthetic lubricant, or a sort of balm. it's easy to swallow because it aspires to be exactly what it is; in the case of my favorite, it aspires to be--and is by generally agreed-upon metrics--cute.
i think perhaps what separates typical kitsch from corny art is that a corny piece seems to aspire to something greater, often something political or cultural, yet ultimately is seemingly nothing more than exactly what it is. a frog with a sassy catchphrase, maybe a pun. the deeply personal and political nature of queerness captured in a few vector lines and a gradient. there is nothing to "figure out", you have everything you need. no questions at this time.
i think perhaps the idea is for the cutesiness to be a spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down. one might think combining those thorny and often painful feelings associated with politics and identity and suturing them to something saccharine and simple makes them more bearable.
but i feel like the "what you see is what you get" nature of kitsch isn't something that can easily transfer to things adjacent to it. a political slogan or symbol, ostensibly, reveals an ideology, a context, a history. a cute drawing of a frog rarely does the same (not to say it never can). when placed together, do you want to flatten the political message into an unquestioned notion, a "vibe", or do you want all your artistic decisions to be considered and exposed as they might be in any other context?
it feels like a kind of art that doesn't take itself seriously, so i think those of us who hold a great deal of seriousness find it jarring. because of the kitschiness, the implicit message to not think about it too hard, it ends up being confounding, because how could i not think about it? at times the underlying politics seem to slap you in the face, the simplicity of the motifs lay bare the careful calculation involved, and all you can think is, "this is really corny and lame".
i don't feel deeply wounded by much of it because i'm lucky to surround myself with people who have more personalized and thorny artistic tastes. and in general, i have lower stakes for politics in images because i seek politics in my life. but it is tiring to see, and it sometimes reveals deep and troublesome assumptions about the world, and worst of all--it's uncool. so yeah, pack it up. but i will be taking one of those cute cat stickers on the way out, yes, thank you
#indexed post#It's latei've been moving furniture all day i think i'm talking out my ass#but post complaining about corny gay art has me thinking#The implication of the politics becoming more offensively apparent is like#The global politics of manufacture and export#Choices in symbols and icons and aesthetics and which ideals they embody - eg The Cottagecore White Supremacy Discussion#and so on and so forth. But really at the end of the day i can usually ignore it#The thornier thing for me is like. Punk kitsch. Aggro posturing. But that's why I don't participate in the music scene right now.
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lmao my dad had an appendectomy a couple months ago and I had to call an ambulance for him 💀 his recovery took about two weeks even with it partially ruptured AND after a couple days in the hospital, but he was up and moving okay a couple days post opp. It wasn’t necessarily comfortable but it was manageable and he could complete basic tasks so overall the struggle shouldn’t be that bad for you either 🤗. He also didn’t take the pain meds they gave him for the most part and opted for ibuprofen so if you’ve got a prescription it should be even better for you, I hope recovery goes well <3
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OH FUKKI I JUST SAW THIS yeah unfortunately it was those instances where you have to get up and move in order to build strength and get better whichhh suuuuucked BUT it was necessary and my strength is almost kinda back to normal now💪but damn those first few times getting up were justttttt rough to say the least sksksk my color came back I don't look like I died 3 days ago anymore AHA and I'm inching thru solid food🤘 so I'm on the right track now its just a matter of taking it easy but also pushing my body necessarily
#submission#the doctor said my appendix was 'pretty rotten' and fukkin hell did it feel like it lmfao#the tube they had.to take out of my before i left was sooo fUCKING UPOUGHHHHH worse than nails on a chalkboard it feel like a large snake#surging through all of my organs i never want to feel that again but anyway ill leave out all the gross details pffft#but yeah they gave me antibiotics in pillform to take home and opiates so im pretty ser#i think the main issue now is my right lung is still feels like some of it got crushed but they gave me a breath training thing so hell yeah#its making my posture look like a decrepit old man so im trying to work on that PFFFT i miss my proud stature 😔
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Did I just do one of my PT exercises for the first time in over a month?
One that I should have been doing every day?
Yes.
And that is okay.
Because I have been going nonstop, and I have been in entirely too much pain.
Sometimes, I have to just get by. But that doesn't mean it isn't important that I pick back up again when I can.
I'm proud of myself. It hurt. But I'm getting back to it.
#chronic pain#physical therapy#I started to berate myself for how long it has been and how much worse my posture is right now because of it#but then realized that's silly and it is good that I am starting again#I should focus on that#!!!
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Breaking news: doing things that are good for you are, in fact, good for you.
#Water... what a glorious drink#Slightly orange flavoured because this is also the cup I always use for the vitamin c supplement#Shoutout to my back brace also. I always forget I have this thing#My posture right now? Impeccable
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